Cleveland Browns Investigation

You heard it here first, folks!  The National Football League Human Resources Department has launched an investigation into the Cleveland Browns after 2nd year Quarterback Baker Mayfield reportedly clocked over 100 hours of overtime during the preseason.

Although we haven’t seen a copy of Mayfield’s contract, sources close to the Browns revealed that the bottom bullet point states “other duties as assigned”.

In addition to the Quarterback piece, Baker Mayfield has also assumed the following tasks:

  • Seeding and mowing the field
  • Repairing the circuit breaker at FirstEnergy Stadium
  • Preparing and cooking the 100K hot dogs to sell during Browns games
  • Mixing the team’s Gatorade for practices and games
  • Assisting owner’s box bartender during halftime
  • Performing taste tests as Food Services transitions to new brand of ketchup
  • Liaising with Board of Directors regarding Finance Department software upgrade
  • Printing and laminating play card cheat sheet for Coach Kitchens
  • Disseminating weekly play book to running backs and receivers
  • Mopping all men’s restrooms, including home and away locker rooms
  • Tracking inventory turnover in stadium team shops
  • Reviewing and approving utilities bills for payment by Accounting Department
  • Ordering coffee pods for home and visitors locker room coffee makers
  • Overseeing jumbotron upgrades
  • Replacing air conditioner filters in stadium boxes
Baker Mayfield Repairs
Hi Baker Mayfield!  Don’t let us interrupt your plumbing repairs!  Thanks for refilling the soap dispenser to help keep your fans healthy on game day!

They always say year two is the hardest!  Hang in there, Baker Mayfield!!!

To all workers and job applicants, be sure to ask your hiring managers about the “other duties as assigned” note!  Not everyone is a Renaissance Man like Baker Mayfield!

6 comments

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s