Pat yourself on the back for making it to week 10! Then put Baker Mayfield on your bench.

Kyler Murray, Cards: Start. In spite of the Cardinals record this year, Kyler Murray has been a solid fantasy quarterback. Even the weeks where he doesn’t throw a touchdown pass, he still throws the ol’ pigskin for a bunch of yards. He’s got his Main Man Larry Fitzgerald, who is always ready to catch some long passes. No matter what, the Cards are going to do their best and have fun, which is what football is all about!

Tom Brady, Pats: Sit. It’s super tempting to start him because he’s Tom Brady… but that Patriots have a bye this weekend, so be careful! You might be half asleep on Sunday morning and think, “Oh man, what’s The Tom doing on my bench? I gotta get him in my lineup, what’s Ryan Tannehill doing in there??” Just calm down. Tannehill belongs there.

Ryan Tannehill, Titans: Start. The Tennessee Titans are the Titanic Titans of the National Titan League. And Ryan Tannehill is the Titanest of them all. The Titans are playing at home, so Tannehill will have that famous Tennessee hospitality on his side!

Daniel Jones (Eli Manning 2.0), Giants (the other Titans): Start. Giants are playing the Jets this week in a New York Battle, so the Jets don’t really have a home field advantage, since they’re all New York buddies. And the Jets are still fresh from their loss to the Miami Dolphins, so the Giants might be able to take advantage of low morale. Giant A-holes. It’s just a game, man. We’re all just here to have fun.

Josh Allen, Bills: Start. Another one of New York’s many quarterbacks! The Buff Buffalos are playing Cleveland, so put Josh Allen in that starter slot like yesterday. With all the wacky overtime and other responsibilities the Cleveland players have had to take on, not to mention how much time they’ve spent training their new live bullmastiff mascot not to hump Coach Kitchens’ leg, the whole team is exhausted. Last week, Odell Beckham fell asleep while running with the ball! (And he picked up quite a few yards!) Anyway, expect Josh “the Buffalo” Allen to score some touchdowns.

Brandon Allen, Denver: Sit. Silly, the Broncos are on bye! We know you’re counting on Brandon Allen to carry your team, but this is not the week.