Attorneys at THE Ohio State University caught wind of the PGA Tour’s THE PLAYERS Championship Golf game, and they are not having it.

“Hey, we patented ‘THE’ last year,” stated THE Ohio State University’s Law Guru. “What the hell, golf? Nobody even watches your sport!”

“Oh, somebody’s gonna pay for this,” said a junior attorney. “I saw an episode of Law and Order where Sam Waterston made a good speech. I’m going to do that, too, and then Big Golf will have to give THE Ohio State University all the money. That’s how law works.”

Unfortunately for THE Ohio State University, people don’t want to watch golf, so they probably won’t get any money for their efforts. But it’s the principle of the thing! Good luck, Ohio and Brutus! Don’t let Big Golf steal your word!