Baltimore Ravens Injury Update

The Baltimore Ravens have lost a crucial player to IR!

“Poe the Raven Mascot will be joining our IR list,” head coach John Harbaugh announced smarmily. “He suffered a DRUMSTICK injury during the game.”

“LOL,” guffawed the press, “That’s hilarious because birds don’t have legs. Good one, Coach!”

We’re no vet, but we’re pretty sure bird legs are supposed to bend like that.

“I was in a lot of pain,” revealed the man behind the mask. “I got carted off the field, and everyone cheered. The pain was excruciating, though. I tried to give a thumbs down, but whoever designed the mascot outfit didn’t include thumbs, so…”

“Ravens are everywhere,” said a staff member. “We’ll just go outside and find another one.”

“Poe is resting in his ROOST lmbo,” said the official spokesperson from the Blatmore Ravens. “The VET is running some tests!”

“I wish they’d let me go the hospital,” said Poe, “I think I need surgery?”

We wish you a speedy recovery, Poe!


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