The injury to the Ravens Mascot made national news! It’s not every day you see a mascot added to the IR list.
“Poe the Raven received prompt medical attention,” assured head coach John Harbaugh after yesterday’s rumors of negligence swirled. “Sorry if there were any RUFFLED FEATHERS.”
“I did finally get to the hospital,” said the man behind the mask. “Uh, a human hospital would have been nice, I have a pretty bad cat allergy. And it would have been nice if they’d let me take off the raven outfit. It’s smelling pretty ripe in here.”
“A LITTLE BIRDY told me he even got a cast in Ravens colors,” exclaimed Coach Harbaugh. “See, no hard feelings!”
“It was the only color they had,” said Poe.
Baltimore Ravens HR confirms that a top candidate for Poe’s replacement has been identified. “We found this fella hanging around on the sidewalk, eating garbage,” gushed an HR representative. “He’s perfect!”
Good luck to the New Poe! You’ve got big shoes to fill! Especially the one that’s a cast.
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