Darnold “Sprains Ankle” After Losing Starting QB Role to Mayfield

Days after the Carolina Panthers named Baker Mayfield as the starting quarterback, back-up QB Sam Darnold shared that he expects to miss the next month of football after suffering an ankle sprain.

Uh-huh. Riiiiiiiiight.

“It’s great that Baker got the starting job,” Mr. Darnold reportedly told family and friends. “I’m so happy for him, for the Panthers, for Sir Purr. It would have been rough having to start the season like this. My ankle was probably weakened for a while, that’s probably why I lost out to Baker. Well, get ready, Baker! I’ll be coming for that starting job in four weeks! Or maybe six weeks. Or maybe a few months, sometimes ankles take a long time to heal. I should probably get my spleen looked at before competing for the starting job. But I’m coming for you, Baker!”

Hey doctor readers, what do you think?

Rest up, Sam Darnold! Don’t forget to do the BRAT diet: bananas, rest, ice, compression, rice, more ice.

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