In the Thursday Night game against the Denver Broncos, Kansas City Quarterback Patrick Mahomes became the newest victim of the 2019 QB Curse.

NFL doctors are working tirelessly to find a connection between the victims, but little progress has been made.

Theory #1: Andrew Luck is the culprit. Prior to the start of the season, Colts QB Andrew Luck announced his retirement completely out of the blue. Did he suspect there was something amiss?

Theory #2: Sam Darnold’s recovery is a little too convenient. So far, Sam Darnold is the only one to return from the curse. Did he take himself out of the picture following the cluster of week 2 injuries to keep suspicion off of himself? A rare illness like mono, a mysterious “spleen” ailment…

Theory #3: Big Soccer is out to destroy “Fake Football” by taking out key players. Big Soccer is one sketchy organization. Soccer execs believe soccer is the one true football; eliminating a few QBs is nothing if it results to increased access to the U.S. market.

Theory #$: Witchcraft. Everybody and their brother knows basic spells nowadays. The WikiHow article on voodoo doll construction has over 6 million shares.

Theory #C: Gatorade. So far, it’s the only common denominator! The Gatorade folks on the field could easily swipe a cup that a player was drinking out of and pass that DNA sample along to the voodoo doll makers. They could also probably snag a sweaty towel or snip off some hair. It’s just that simple!