Every week, we see more and more NFL Football players and even some NFL College players sustaining season-ending n sometimes life altering injuries! Statistics tell us that Football is the most hazardous job, even more dangerous than bear-wrestling and shark dentistry. The question on every1’s mind is Why has football become so dangerous???
100 years ago when football was first invented, it was just a fun sport! During the week, NFL players would go to work in hospitals or factories and then after work they would go to practice and then play in a NFL game on Sunday! Maybe they would get in a few workouts during the week, if they had time. But then we the people started demanding more football! We started buying football merchandise like Matt Stafford jerseys, Denver Broncos decorative pillows, New England Patriots commemorative deflated footballs, and toasters that burn a Green Bay Packers “G” onto our bread. So then football teams could afford to pay players more and the professional NFL players could be full-time athletes! They really could get paid to do what they love! And work out A TON and get beefy!
As u can see in the graphic, modern day football players are 50% larger than our grandfather’s football players! In 1950, most NFL players were 5 foot 11 Average Joes weighing in at 185 pounds. Today, the average height is 6’5″ and the average weight is 250 pounds! Whoa! The average modern football player is 97% muscle!!! That’s impressive… but guess what, in 35 years, the average player will be a 300% muscle concussion-causing machine!
The NFL is obviously concerned about this scary trend. So Roger Goodell has begun development on 3-ton fully automated NFL players with turf-gripping tank treads, dual-mounted football launchers / flame throwers, a badass flail, shoulder mounted gatling gun, 360 degree infrared optic, and dual high voltage shield generators. Hopefully in 100 more years, we will all b able to watch our robot brethren compete in America’s favorite pastime!
[…] NFL has also been researching automating the football player positions, but so far, this has been untested. Player automation would drastically reduce player injuries and […]
[…] 3000. The future of football is here! Almost. With a little extra funding, the NFL’s best scientists can […]