Packers’ Future

The over 500,000 owners of the Green Bay Packers have some big decisions to make!

With longtime quarterback Aaron Rodgers most recent injury, his young protege Jordan Love was finally allowed to play a few snaps–and he did not disappoint! Coach Matt LaFleur may have to rethink his strategy of making Aaron Rodgers play in an iron lung and actually let Mr. Love take a crack at the starting QB role.

Sources close to aging QB and Jeopardy! host Aaron Rodgers reveal that Rodgers is doing his own research to calculate the probability of losing the starting job.

“Aaron and his gf Blu of Earth have consulted the crystals, and he says he’ll probably still start for the rest of the season and probably next year and the year after that and the year after that,” said an anonymous chum. “But then in 2026, after he’s broken all the records set by his rival Tom [Brady] he’ll have to retire so he can be the all-time permanent King of Jeopardy! The fans will really want him to be the QB for longer and there will be a lot of tears, but ultimately, Aaron is a true academic and the crystal spirits of fire and football will tell him it’s time to move on from sports.”

“But he showed me a pic of the crystals and stuff, and I didn’t really get what it meant.”

Uh, yeah, sure we totally see it.

Ms. Of Earth could not be reached for clarification on the interpretation.

Good luck with this big decision, all you Packer owners!

“Alright, Aaron, you made it a true delay dobble!”
“What is, ‘is 9-11 real’?”

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