Big Ketchup, Steelers Reach Agreement

Steelers fans were disappointed earlier this year to learn that iconic Heinz Field was changing sponsorships from the beloved ketchup producers to the little-known insurance company Acrisure and would therefore be renamed Acrisure Stadium.

The loss of the sponsorship from Big Ketchup resulted in multiple fiascos.

While negotiations with Heinz dragged on, Acrisure Stadium was without any type of ketchup for the Steelers preseason home game against the Seattle Seahawks.

Awwww man!

Fans who don’t like mustard or relish just had to eat their hot dogs dry. Stadium security even confiscated ketchup packets that they found in purses! “They took the ketchup out of my mom’s purse,” said one young Steelers fan. “Mustard is gross, so I just had to eat my hot dog in the clear.”

Big Insurance heard the complaints of fans, so Acrisure Stadium staff was permitted to serve Sir Kensington’s ketchup in the preseason game against the Detroit Lions. Unfortunately the brief partnership with Sir Kensington Gourmet Ketchup for People of Privilege caused the price of hot dogs to increase by 150%.

Who the is this Sir Kensington -bag?

“My mom wouldn’t even buy me a hot dog,” complained another (or possibly the same) young fan. “I got hungry so I just had to eat popcorn and nacho chips that fell off the plates of the Pittsburgh Elites and landed on the ground.”

But not to worry, folks! Big Ketchup has finalized an agreement with Heinz, so fans at tomorrow’s game will finally be able to partake in the good old-fashioned Heinz ketchup they’ve come to know and love.

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