Spring Training Brings Onslaught of Drug Tests

Less than five minutes after the Official Annual MLB Lockout ended, the Official Semiannual MLB Drug Tests began.

The MLB sure wastes no time stopping their players from having a good time and getting yoked. Remember when baseball was fun to watch because half the players were on hallucinogens and the other half were mega-strong?

Eager to keep athletes on the so-called “boring straight and narrow”, MLB added mandatory “say no to drugs” posters to be displayed in addition to the other mandatory HR Labor Law posters. This year’s anti-drug campaign features image of the notorious late disgraced former Kentucky Derby winner Medina Spirit.

Awww man! Well, if you say so, Medina Spirit.

Representatives of the Medina Spirit Estate insist that the late horse was all about finding his chill and never would have allowed his image to be used to stop other athletes or kids from testing the drug waters. “Especially baseball players,” said one anonymous representative of Mr. Spirit. “Baseball used to be cool, remember?”

That’s what we’ve been saying! Good luck with your drug tests, MLB!

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