Crack open your notebooks, it’s time to start Phoenix Suns 201! A more advanced course on the Phoenix Suns.
If you want to behave like a long-time Suns fan, you have to always be prepared for the loss! Phoenix Suns fans who have made it through the last several seasons, have seen some dark stuff. So even if the Suns are winning by 50 points and there’s less than a minute left… Don’t. Un-clench. Your. Butt cheeks.
Highlight that sentence in your notes. If you un-clench too soon, you’re basically guaranteeing a surprise loss. We all know that our behavior as fans within the confines of our homes directly impacts the game. That’s like Basketball 101, which is a prerequisite for Phoenix Suns 201.
And if you want to make it to Phoenix Suns 301, you’ll need to take a field trip to the Phoenix Suns Arena, home of YOUR Phoenix Suns, and finish your dissertation about all the cool renovations. Until this season, the Suns were playing with the same basketball hoops and basketballs that came with the arena when it was built. A few years ago, the Suns started increasing the pyrotechnics in their introductions until Big Basketball finally caved and let them upgrade the arena. Now, there are super comfy couches to sit on while you tweet about Point Guard Jevon Carter’s awesome shoes.
While you’re at the game, if you’re lucky, you’ll see something cool and special like this:
Sketch this picture in your notes. It’s one of the coolest tricks you’ll witness during a b-ball game.
The Phoenix Suns continue their road trip, taking on the Atlanta Hawks today! If you hurry, you can still catch the game!