Disney Does Basketball

Who had this on Apocalypse Bingo?

We’ve seen a lot from Disney over the years. From mice to theme parks to wedding dresses, Disney is doing it all. And now it’s time for Disney to do NBA basketball!

Wlat Dinsey presents National Basketball on Ice featuring Elsa!

As you likely gathered by the Great Sports Drought of 2020, all sports–including basketball–were postponed so the world could face it’s greatest opponent yet, the fearsome Covid-19. But the best minds in sports have been hard at work to find a way to bring our fave athletes back to our televisions. And thanks to some Disney magic, they have a plan for the NBA.

The top 22 teams will compete for a chance to win the Basketball Stanley Cup, and all of the games will be played at Disney World! Wow! Here are some fun facts to help you picture what the rest of the season will be like:

  • Disney World is in Florida.
  • The Orlando Magic is among the top 22 teams! It’s not sketchy at all since Disney was replaced as the Magic jersey sponsor.
  • Your fave b-ballers will be living on-site at Disney World! In order to make sure they have enough lodging for the players, Disney staff have converted their most dangerous theme park rides into cool move-able bunk beds and hammocks. Great idea!
  • After a team is eliminated from the Final-22 Bracket, the team mascot will have to compete in a fight to the death against Pluto. If a team’s mascot loses, the GM has to forge a blood oath with Walt Disney himself and vow to employ either Donald or Daisy as the new team mascot for the next 200 years. Folks at Disney Corp sure know how to make money!
  • All players will be required to purchase food from Disney World. No off-campus dining! It’s just like high school! And Disney Execs are experts about high school, believe us. We watched those musicals so you don’t have to!
  • Players will have the opportunity to share high tea with Cinderella and iCarly on weekends. Color us green with envy! We hope to see the contents of the iCindy swag bag on SnapChat!
  • Players will also get some cool sneak peaks into the films on the docket for 2023, including Little Mermaid vs. Dory: Put Up Your Fins and a live action remake of Lion King 1 and 1/2.

We can’t wait to see what company acquires NFL football! Rumor has it Netflix and Tesla are in talks with Roger Goodell.

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