History shows us that whenever u have a president or other really important person, u need to have a “line of succession” just in case something bad happens or that person quits or something. Remember 100 years ago when President Kennedy faked his own death to get away from the presidency? It was super elaborate. Then like a year later Prisedent “Tricky Richard” Nixon also quit, prolly to go hang out with Kennedy on his secret invisible yacht or w/e but that’s another story. Ever since Faith Hill retired from doing the beloved Monday Night Football Song and passed the torch to Carrie Underwood, the world has been wondering, “Whose next??? Who will sing our beloved national football anthem after Carrie retires?” Well DON’T U WORRY! The NFL has it all figured out so u can rest easy tonight!
Here is a look at the Monday Night Football Song Official Line of Succession:
1. Rebecca Black, singer of the hit song “Friday”: Sure, she may be a 1 hit wonder and all, but no one knows the days of the week like she does! If she can get the world pumped up for Friday just think what she can do for Monday!
2. Ozzy Osbourne, official NFL Crazy Train and Roger Goodell’s Bestie: Ozzy Osbourne has a super busy schedule! DID U KNOW that every time Crazy Train plays in the stadium, it’s being sung live by Ozzy Osbourne?? Osbourne has a really wild n stressful schedule during football season. Lucky for him in like 10 years he could retire from being the Official Crazy Train and take on the Monday Night Song of Football instead! That schedule is way easier.
3. Taylor Swift, Princess of Pop: every1 knows who Taylor Swift is! She’s had A TON of hits lately and someday she may add the Monday Night Fotball Anthem to her list!
4. 1D, British Boy Band: as part of the NFL’s piece treaty with Great Britain, their fave boy band One Direction was added to the official list of secession. Then that one guy left the band so now we’re not so sure. If necessary, though, former Prime Minister Tony Blair has volunteered to lend a hand with guitar and back up vocals. Thank u for sharing ur talents with the world, Tony Blair! Rock on!!
5. Josh Groban, the Josh-Man: Rumor has it if he becomes the next Monday Night Anthem crooner, he will sing it in 20 different languages! Brilliant move by Goodell, Groban, n the NFL to bring football to ppl worldwide!
6. American Idol Winner of Season (n-2) in which n = the most recently ended season: Remember that huge talent who won 3 seasons ago? Well so does the rest of the world & we all want that person to come to the Monday Night Stage!
7. The Senate Minority Leader: Whoever that lucky guy or gal may be!
8. Peyton Manning, star QB: prolly won’t make it this far down the list but if it does every1’s fave QB is ready to step up!
9. The President of FIFA: ok don’t even worry about this!! The FIFO president was added to the list as a sign of good faith between the two branches of football but dont lose any sleep b/c we will literally never get this far down the list!
10. “Tricky Man” Dick Nixon, former presidnet: just in case we ever need him to come out of hiding he will be summoned to the stage for the ultimate Monday Football Ballad!