Things to do in Glendale Arizona

if ur 1 of the 2 million ppl lucky enough to get Super Bowl XV tix CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!  u will b the cool person in ur friend group for the next 2 years!  if ur weren’t that lucky well thats ok i guess, u can just watch the game on tv like every1 else.  the super bowel is in arizona this year which is a huge freaking desert.  there isnt much to do in a dessert anyway so ur not missing out.

SPOILER ALERT! here is what every square inch of AZ looks like except for the super bowl stadium

if u ARE going to the super bowl, tho, here r some cool things to do in Phoenix!

Where 2 go in Phoenix:

a really tall mountain: there r a lot of these so just pick 1 and start walking!

Starbucks no trip to phoenix is complete without a trip 2 the local starbucks!  u will have more fun walking around if ur carrying a cool starbucks cup!  every1 u meet will immediately know ur social status as some1 who can afford 2 buy real neat coffee!  way to impress the local phoenicians!!!

Souvenir Shop: u definitely need 2 bring back some souvenirs from the desert!!!  here is where u go 2 buy desert things like glass paperweights with a scorpion inside!  The scorpion the arizona state bird can sting up to 10 people before combusting.  scorpions that go into paperweights have a sting count of 4 or fewer.

The Southwestern Museum of Being in a Desert: if u have never been to arizona or a dessert before, u MUST stop here.  it will tell u everything u need 2 know about being in a desert.  fun fact there are no trees in AZ just cactus and tumbleweeds that used 2 be trees once upon a time.  if ur really lucky u will see a tumbleweed during the super bowl!!!

Gracias, Amigo Mexican Restaurant: if u arent from Spanish that means “best Mexican food north of the border restaurant” (FYI there talking about the border between the US n Mexico not the one between Mexico and Brazil.)   idk where this place is but everyone in phoenix knows about it so just ask any1 on the street 4 directions

Mount rushmore: one of the 7 wonders of the world!  this is a bit of a drive but its worth it to see our nations founding presidents like George Washington, Gomez Adams, Thomas Jefferson, Ben Franklin, n Napoleon.

The Semi=Annual Football-Haters Convention in downtown Phoenix: this event takes place 3 times a year.  ppl who don’t like football or have personally been injured by footballs get 2gether with some neat catered food and talk about how much football sux.  if u aren’t excited about the super bowl u can join them and drop some sick burns on footballs n football players. if u like football or are a football player u can stop by and heckle them lol.

the worlds biggest mini golf: located in the grand canyon u can hit golf balls over the canyon and around other natural obstacles like rattlesnakes and the dried out bones of ppl who went to play mini golf and forgot to bring water bottles.

Tucson: Tucson is another city in Phoenix, its closer 2 mexico.  there is another college there n some real cool maxi golf courses.

GLENDALE 4 THE 70th Annual SUPER BOWL!!!  U will b having so much fun in Phoenix but DON’T FORGET TO GO TO THE SUPER BOWL!!!!!!!!  b careful thats a rookie mistake for travelers

Have a fun n safe trip to AZ!!!

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