Ok so Belichick, brady, n there other friends on the patriots dont know what happened to the footballs last weekend and now it’s this huge scandal called Deflategate. Ppl all over the country r raising money and awareness 2 fight underinflated footballs. Scientists say the underinflated football epidemic might b worse than ebola & aids combined! The whole world is asking ‘who did this horrible thing 2 those footballs? ” as of now here r the top five suspects:

5. The video game company E A Sports: rumor has it this is just 1 HUGE publicity stunt 2 advertise the new ‘air pressure ‘ feature that will b in Madden 16. Nice work ea sports, u got our attention!!

 
#4 our very own vice president JOE BIDEN! we all thought he was at the state of the Union but that was just a robot built 2 look like him and its face kept malfunctioning. nice try, science u cant fool us! the real Biden was busy deflating footballs in England or wherever

 
3. Ares the God of War: when was the last time any1 made a human sacrifice 4 him? No wonder he sent this dreadful curse upon us.

 
2. The Seattle seahorse coach Pete Carroll! he wanted there super bowl opponents 2 b really distracted. every1 saw him rushing 2 the airport after the Seahorse Packers game. Now we no where he was headed!! Off 2 tamper with some footballs!

 
Our NUMBER ONE suspect is: Richard Nixon!! He did it once he can do it again. we see what ur up 2, tricky dick.