New Suns Owner on His Way to Becoming Local Hero

After the long overdue departure of former Suns and Mercury owner Robert Sarver, fans were hopeful that new owner Mat Ishbia would bring some positive changes to the Valley.

And so far, Mr. Ishbia has not disappointed!

In his first official act as the President and Owner of the Phoenix Suns and Mercury, Rebel and Man of the People Mat Ishbia hath decreed that Suns and Mercury games can be shown on local TV channels starting next season. Whoa! Now the wealthy purchasers of cable TV won’t be the only ones with access to basketball games. “We’re bringing basketball to the hoi polloi,” Mat Ishbia probably said.

Mr. Ishbia’s second official act as owner has cemented him in fans’ hearts forever!

In tonight’s Game Four with the Denver Nuggets, Mat Ishbia himself got into a “scuffle” with Nugget Nicola Jokić!

“I was there, I saw the whole thing,” said a high-spirited Suns fan. “Joker shoved Mat Ishbia over on the sideline, and Mat Ishbia, he stood up and just socked the Joker! It was epic!”

“That’s not what happened,” said another fan who was at the game. “Jokić shoved him and was talking big smack about the Suns, and our buddy Mat stood up and told Joker what’s what! When Joker refused to apologize, Mat hulked out and did some sweet MMA moves! Like this! Hiyah! Pow! Kablam! Like that. Joker didn’t know what hit him!”

An artist’s rendering of nearby fans trying to hold Mat Ishbia back from a fight with Mr. Jokić.

“That exactly what I want to see from our owner,” said another Phoenix resident. “Bring it on, Nuggets! We’ll let Mat Ishbia’s fists do the talking!”

Mat Ishbia and staff could not be reached for comment. We’ll have to see if there’s a follow-up fight in Game Five!

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