With the recent horse deaths leading up to the Kentucky Derby, Big Horse is hoping to spread drug awareness and prevention to our four-legged athletes.
“Our hooved brethren just aren’t being safe enough,” said a spokesperson from Horse Conglomerate. “In order to combat the recent wave of unfortunate athlete deaths, we will be requiring drug-free posters to be displayed next to the mandatory HR posters in the breakroom. Churchill Downs will face additional scrutiny from compliance officers.”
“As the athletes congregate around the water cooler and sugar cube dispenser, they can read about OSHA, harassment in the workplace, and the dangers of drug use. To make the posters more attention-grabbing, the art will feature their fellow sportsman the late Medina Spirit.”
“The posters look awful,” said a human resources analyst with Horse Inc. “It should have said ‘Medina Sez’ or something cutesy like that, with a silly misspelling to catch the horses’ attention.”
“I don’t think the posters should be glamorizing the lifestyle of a disgraced druggie like Medina Spirit,” said a Horse LLC associate. “People only remember Mr. Spirit for his wild parties and the way he brought his own ‘sugar cubes’ into the office. Just saying, the other horses aren’t going to buy in.”
“Wait, can horses read?” Asked a new employee with Big Horse Inc. This employee was promptly fired.
Good luck in the Derby tomorrow, everyone! Remember, stay safe and say no to drugs!
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