Washington Commanders’ Locker Room Experiments

The Washington Commanders are working on some fun experiments for the 2023 season!

Let’s take a look at what we could see this fall.

The No-QB Approach
Sports journalists across the country are waiting to see if the Commanders will draft a brand-new rookie quarterback in this year’s draft. “They can always go the all-kicker route,” mused a Washington resident. “Seems like it would save time and energy if you don’t have to run the ball all the way down the field.”

Optical Illusions
Scientists widely consider these to be the laziest experiments out there. “Everybody has seen those before, there aren’t any new illusions,” said a renowned professor. “We get it. It’s both a young lady and an old lady.”

Mold
We’ve all been there! You forget about the leftovers you put in the Tupperware at the back of the fridge for so long, you’re only option is to give it to your nephew for a science experiment. Unfortunately that locks you into helping him glue cut-out letters that read “How fast is a mold?” at the top of a poster board.

We can’t wait to read the hypothesis!

We can’t wait to see the new and improved Commanders this fall!

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