Proposed Rule Changes For College Football

Baseball isn’t the only sport whose games could be getting shorter!

The head coach of the Georgia Bulldogs Kirby Smart has proposed a minor clock rule change that would slightly shorten the game by reducing the number of plays. “We’d just keep the clock running sometimes,” explained Coach Smart.

“I hope this rule change goes through,” said one college football fan. “I feel obligated to cheer on my alma mater every Saturday. But it’s kind of a chore lately, you know? Like it’s neat to have something to text my college buddies about, but I don’t think any of us have actually cared about college football since we turned 25.”

“I usually vacuum during the game,” confessed another fan. “The players just aren’t that good, it’s painful to watch sometimes.”

“Wait, it won’t really save that many seconds if they keep the clock running after first down,” mused a math whiz. “If Coach S thinks that having like five fewer plays is that much a difference-maker for the players’ safety, then why are we having people play football at all?”

“Ugh, can we just make the whole game five plays?” asked a self-proclaimed die-hard college sports fan. “I just want to move on with my Saturday. Let’s just flip a coin or play a round of rock, paper, scissors to determine the winner.”

The first and final play of the college football championship game could look like this!

“Kirby Smart? More like Kirby DUMB,” said the voice of the dissent.

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