Broncos quarterback Russell Wilson reacted to some truly gut-wrenching news today.

Two members of Denver Bronco Human Resources department and a Bronco doctor called Russell Wilson into a conference room and ominously closed the door.

“Russell said HR person #1. “I’m afraid we have some bad news.”

Russell Wilson looked very concerned.

“Earlier today,” began HR person #2, “every member of your family spontaneously combusted. They are all dead now.”

“Psych!!!” shouted HR #1. We’re just messing with you, Russell W! But that should make this other really awful news seem less horrible.”

Russell Wilson looked very concerned.

“Earlier today,” began HR person #2. “We received word that there is a massive meteor headed toward the planet and we all only have 10 minutes to live.”

“We’re just playing with you again! LOL!” shouted HR person number 1. “You should see your face right now, you look really sad. Omg somebody take a pic! But we do still have some truly, truly terrible news for you. But it’s not as bad as the end of the world.”

Russell Wilson looked very concerned.

“Earlier today,” began HR #2 “we found out that one of your dogs really hates you. But we aren’t allowed to tell you which one. At least one of them like mega hates you.”

“Hahahaha look at him, he believes us!!!” shouted HR number one. “After all of this, he believed you just now. But that’s good, Mr. Russell because we really do have some really messed up news for you and your not gonna like it.”

Russell Wilson looked very concerned.

The doctor took a step forward. “Mr. Russell, I’m afraid you’re never going to play the football again. The Borncos just don’t want you anymore.”

Tell me you got a pic of his face right now,” shouted HR #1. This is comedy gold, Russell Wilson! Alright, it’s time for the real bad news. We pinky promise this time. Are you ready for the real news.”

Russell Wilson looked concerned.

“Okay the real bad news is that earlier today,” said the team doctor, “the president signed a bill into law that says that you have to eat one of those gross spiders from fear factor. Every day. for the rest of your life”

“OMG U R SO GULLIBLE!!!!!!!” shouted HR person # one. “Okay okay okay, for real this time. And this is going to seem like freaking amazing news compared to all those other newses we told you.”

Russell Wilson looked very concerned.

“Yeah you know after all that,” said Thing Two. “Your reaction probably won’t be worth writing about in the journalism stories. You dont have a concussion anymore but they still won’t let you play this wekend.”

Where were you when you heard that Russell Wilson wouldn’t get to play on Sunday?