Tiger Woods Bows Out of Upcoming Tournament

Tiger Woods, the most famous golfer to ever golf, has “regretfully” pulled out of the upcoming Hero World Challenge golf tournament.

“Whoa, a hero world challenge????” said a dumb little kid. “You mean like Super Man and Batman?????”

No, you little dip , we’re talking about GOLF! Lmao you idiot.

Anyways, representatives of Tiger Woods said that he had been practicing hard because he really wanted to flush four days down the toilet but unfortunately his rigorous practice led to plantar fasciitis so he will need to spend those four days doing something more interesting instead.

“Wait, isn’t Tiger Woods the host of the Hero World Challenge?” asked an intrepid reporter.

“Oh look, it’s Batman!” shouted the representatives of Tiger Woods, pointing behind the head of the intrepid reporter. The intrepid reporter didn’t turn around because everyone knows Batman isn’t real, so the representatives of Tiger-man just bolted out of the room in full view of the press.

Sources close to Mr. Woods have suggested that the famous golfer might be going to an amusement park or reading a novel instead of participating. “Look, everyone knows necrotizing fasciitis is a made-up disease. And golf tournaments are boring as . Remember the last golf tournament? The most exciting thing that happened was when the golf ball was hit over the fence and landed on a family’s grill. The dude was 10 over par, and he stole those shrimp skewers.”

What’s wrong with those shrimps?

“Wait, so Tiger Woods started his own tournament and called it ‘Hero World Challenge’?” asked an intrepid reporter. No one answered the question because the representatives ran off, but yes, he did!

Not all heroes wear capes, some of them wear the ugliest polos on the face of the earth.

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