NFL Preseason is winding down, and you know what that means–it’s time for your fantasy league’s fantasy football draft! Whoa!!!

You haven’t done any research yet, and you don’t want to humiliate yourself in front of your pals from high school. We hear you. You need a cheat sheet.

Here is a list of 5 players to avoid like the plague during the draft.

5. Tony Romo, NFL
Don’t forget to draft a quarterback because you’re waiting for trusty Tony Romo to show up in the player list! He’s been retired for going on 20 years! A few years down, some more to go! If you’re watching the big games, you’ll probably see Tony Romo every weekend, but now he’s a hot-shot analyst who the NFL strands on a desert island with nothing to drink but beer. Stay hydrated, Tony Romo!

B. Christian McCaffrey, Carolina Panthers
Look, folks, you know your cool uncle wants to draft McCaffrey, and his pick is right after yours. If you still want to be in the will, let your cool uncle draft McCaffrey.

3. Tom Brady, Tampa Brady Bucks
It may seem like a smokin’ deal if you can draft Touchdown Tom in the third round. But be on the lookout for another mysterious disappearance! Rumor has it Tom Brady is competing in The Amazing Race reality TV show. He was able to return to Bucs practice since he and his chum are ahead of the other teams. But if his opponents start to close in, you can bet he’ll leave mid-game to look for clues and vote the next team off the island.

4. Eli Manning, Quarterback
Everyone knows if you’re going to draft a Manning, it should be Peyton. NGL if you don’t know this, you might want to do a different fantasy sport.

5. Brian Robinson, Washington Commander Footballs
Rookie RB Brian Robinson was predicted to be the starting RB for the Washington Footballs… until he was SHOT. Whoa. This got serious, everybody. We wish you a speedy recovery, Brian Robinson! The next-up running back and prime suspect is Antonio Gibson.