The Miami Dolphins have been in a football champion dry spell lately, but did you know that the Florida Men used to be a winningest team? In fact, the Dolphin Men won the 7th and 8th Super Bowls! Early 70s Miami was the place to be if you liked the ol’ ellipsoidal pigskin.
Let’s take a look at the top five dolphins ever!
Dan Marino
This is an easy one! Dan “Florida Man” Marino was a dolphins quarterback for over 15 years. In quarterback years, that’s almost 50 years! By the time he retired as the throwingest dolphin that ever throwed, Dan Marino was considered an “ancient geriatric QB”. But of course, in 1999 when Florida Dan Man retired, a footballer could still retire at a retirement age and they weren’t forced by the economy to play into their 40s like current mega-ancient geriatric QB Tom Brady.
Flipper the Dolphin from TV
Flipper the Dolphin is almost as famous as Dan the Dan! Unlike Dan Marino, Flipper had his own TV show about him and his friend Bud. Dan Marino never had a friend named Bud.
A Different Flipper
Piggybacking off of the success of the TV show about that a-hole Flipper, the Miami Dolphins had their very own dolphin mascot named Flipper back in the 60s! This Flipper wasn’t as famous as the jerk on TV, so most people liked Football Flipper better. We give Flipper the Football Mascot four stars.
The Dolphin from the movie “Dolphin Tale”
The next most famous influential dolphin is the one from the 2011 film about a dolphin without a tale! Luckily some nice folks made the dolphin a prosthetic tail, and everyone in the world was totes inspired. Not as famous or inspirational of a dolphin as Dan Marino but still cool enough to make the list.
did they get a dolphin actor without a tail then?The Dolphin from “Dolphin Tale 2”
There’s no double jeopardy when it comes to top five lists, so our slippery friend from the first movie gets to make the list again. Most people thought it would be silly to make a sequel to the first dolphin tail movie since all of the drama had been resolved and there were no loose ends. But Hollywood folks are always up for a challenge! In “Dolphin Tale 2”, the original dolphin realized how unfair the world is since all the other dolphins still had real tales. So this s.o.b. went on a crime spree and assaulted a buttload of other dolphins to try to cut their tales off. Spoiler alert: the kind folks from the first movie had to make a bunch more prosthetic tails.
Who do you think is the most memorable dolphin? Comment below!
ATHLETE IN SPACE 
A tail for two cities!
Tail as old as time!