Attention-Seeking Pujols Drops Major Bombshell

With baseball season delayed due to the annual MLB Lockout, St. Louis Cardinals player Albert Pujols hasn’t gotten much publicity this year. A fan-favorite among kids and teens because of his last name (grow up, you hooligans), Pujols brought much delight to folks across the country when he announced he would play baseball for another year in spite of being almost as old as Tom Brady.

Folks who wanted to get a Pujols jersey before he retired went online almost immediately and bought one. Others had to resort to making their own.

Pretty sure those are the wrong cardinals!

Albert Pujols was reportedly really excited to be in the news again. But it didn’t last long! News travels fast across the internet, so it zoomed past everyone and then was replaced by other top stories like Will Smith’s MMA Fighting Debut, Ukraine Serious Fighting Debut Part VII, and what outfit Miley Cyrus’s dog wore to the Grammys.

It struck MLB fans as odd when completely out of the blue, Mr. Pujols shared today that he would be divorcing his wife of 22 years for no apparent reason. Friends of the couple think it’s just a publicity stunt and worry where their friend Albert will go next. “He just loves the limelight,” revealed one so-called friend. “I’ve got money in Cash Flusher that he’s going to fake his own death by the end of the month.”

You heard it here first, folks, you can bet on anything these days.

We hope you’re doing okay, Albert and Mrs. Pujols!

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