The College Football NCAA Playoff Committee earned their salaries this week! The powers that be met to discuss the future of college football playoffs. College football fans and alums were hoping that the NCAA Official Playoff Committee would decide to let more colleges participate in the playoffs. To everyone’s dismay, the NCAA released the below program:

Not only did the NCAA decide that only four teams are allowed to participate in the College NFL-Jr. Playoffs for the next four years, they also outlined the comprehensive list of which teams are going to have a chance to win it all for their schools.

Representatives of LSU Athletics were upset about being lumped in with the bizarre antics of their new head coach, who has reportedly binge-watched House of Cards and is practicing saying his W’s every chance he gets. Ohio State issued a statement that they will never allow someone on the NCAA Double-A Playoff Committee to dot the “i” because that is a special honor for a student band member and it would go against all of their principles to let some old guy who does’t know how to play an instrument participate in the halftime shows. “ off,” they added, and hyperlinked to a picture of Brutus the Buckeye flipping the bird.

Michigan was annoyed at being listed twice. “Did anybody proofread this?” tweeted Official Michigan, “must have been written by an OSU grad” and hyperlinked to a picture of Brutus the Buckeye flipping the bird while being flushed down the toilet alongside the biggest turd we’ve ever seen. Oklahoma State didn’t click the hyperlink and was highly offended by Michigan’s tweet, vowing to “demolish” their opponents “both on and off the field” this fall, and we don’t really know what that means, but it’s probably going to result in some exciting football games!