Must-Haves for Golf Spectators

For most of the US, it’s finally good golfing weather! Unless you live in Arizona, then you’re two months too late. Or in Minnesota, then you’re two months too early.

Here are our top five must-haves for spectating a golf tournament.

5. Cell phone, charger, portable generator. That candy isn’t going to crush itself. Also a good opportunity to catch up on faster-paced sports. We hear baseball is 10 times faster than golf!

No, unfortunately there are no challenges in golf. Some lady on her sixth Bloody Mary just dropped her scarf.

4. A good book. Definitely choose something that will last awhile! We recommend the entire Harry Potter series. Hopefully by the time Ron realizes he like likes Hermione, the tournament will be over.

3. Snacks. At baseball games, you can get hot dogs and cracker jacks! Classic! At golf outings, it’s customary to partake in caviar, escargot, and some unidentifiable quiches. BYOB: bring your own burger.

2. Water. When you think you’re starting to fall asleep, splash a little on your face. Or dump some on the dude standing next to you, maybe you can get escorted off the premises.

And finally 1. Extra golf balls. Look, we’re going to be real with you. It may feel like the longest sport game of your life. There’s no time limit on golf. So here’s a pro strat: sneak ahead of the group, and toss a few golf balls close to the hole. Everyone knows all golf balls are completely identical; the golfers won’t know any better, they’ll be happy that their swings were so accurate, and you’ll shave at least an hour off the tournament. Win-win.

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