Camouflage Uniform Awareness Month

Nearly 1 million people have missed out on the last two weeks of football!  Were u one of them?

It’s an easy enough mistake to make.  Even though we all knew Camouflage November was upon us, it’s still super confusing to show up to the game and not be able to see any players on the field!

Roger Goodell says the NFL lost over $8 trillion in concession stand sales this month!  All across the country ppl showed up to the stadiums, looked around, didnt see any football players b/c of the camouflage, and then just went home to do yardwork or whatever.  A bunch of TV stations floundered and played Seinfeld reruns for four hours.  Other stations didn’t want to admit that they didnt actually have a game to show us so they just showed some old football reruns.  The announcers really had to scramble tho!  Fox accidentally showed a super old game n a bunch of those players were already dead!  Fortunately it was close enough to halloween that the announcers just explained it away as zombies n ghosts.  Sounds legit.

Anyway, the NFL is already working on improvements to their camouflage uniforms for next November’s National Armed Forces Camouflage Awareness Month.  Instead of going with a traditional green camouflage that blends in PERFECTLY with the turf and creates a ton of confusion, Goodell is working on uniforms that will blend in with the atmosphere of a football stadium!  Wow, great thinking!  Here is a sneak preview of some of Goodell’s designs:

Look closely at this 1! Defenses will have a big challenge covering Calvin Johnson while he’s wearing this trendy Football Turf Camouflage Uniform!
lol how did that silly popcorn vendor get down on the field? No wait, IT’S CARSON PALMER and he just through a 75-YARD TOUCHDOWN PASS!!! The defense didnt even know what hit ’em! Ur cleats r lookin sharp, Carson Palmer!
Huh, I could have sworn Denver sent their field goal team onto the field, but now I dont see–oh wait!! There he is! Brandon McManus just kicked a 70-YARD FIELD GOAL!!! Way to go! His Goal Post Camouflage Uniform is a little costly to make, but well worth it for sneaky field goals! Maybe someday ppl will forget that his name has the word “anus” in it!
Teams with famous landmarks can take advantage of the local scenery! Tough to sack Nick Foles when ur too busy looking at the famous National St. Louis Thomas Jefferson Mega Arch!
This game is crazy, J J Watt just sacked the Gatorade cooler! Looks like Roger Goodell threw another one by us! That’s not Gatorade, it’s Eli Manning! J J Watt was not fooled by the Gatorade Cooler Camouflage Uniform! Here’s hoping the other Giants dont throw Eli Manning on Tom Coughlin at the end of the game!

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