The Tale of the Cursed End Zone

As u know, October is well underway!  And October means pumpkin flavored coffees and pink football uniforms for some reason idk and SCARY STORIES!!!  Halloween is coming and every1 loves a good fright!  Well our fave sport football is not immune to scary stories.  Here for ur reading pleasure is “The Tail of the Cursed End Zone.”  (Plz note that curse-ed is two syllables, u have to say it that way if u read this scary story out loud.)

It all began on a dark n stormy night in Seattle!  A lot of nights in Seattle r stormy, so ppl didn’t think anything of it.  It was Monday, Septmember 24th, 2012, and there WAS a really exciting football game tho!  Between the Seatle Seahawks and the Green Bay Packers, 2 of our countrys most talented teams!  Well the game happened n both teams scored and stuff and it came down to the final play of the game!  Packers QB Aaron Rodgers threw a perfect pass into the endzone for the game winning touchdown!  Wow!  But REMEMBER back in 2012, the NFL hired a bunch of replacement refs!  So instead of people who have studied football for years and have PhD’s in Football, a bunch of silly neurosurgeons n concert pianists were refereeing the game!  Well, one of those boneheads made a huge mistake, and called the play as a touchdown for the Seahawks!!  There was a huge outcry against these fake wannabe refs, except for ppl who owned Russell Wilson and Golden Tate in their fantasy leagues because Wilson n Tate got the credit for Aaron Rodgers’s TD.  So scary!!!  We think bad things don’t happen in football, but sometimes they do!

Ever since then, that particular endzone has seen some scary things.  One time, the Seattle Seahawks mascot Billy the Seahawk was flying around the stadium practicing his tricks for the next game, and he got real bad diarrhea all over the field in the endzone!  The Field Maintenance Experts tried really hard to scrape the bird poo off, but the poop just stuck to the CURSED FIELD!!!  That weekend, a bunch of visiting players slipped in the bird diarhea.

Another time, an old fortuneteller told Pete Carroll to spit his gum in that endzone and it would stick to the cleats of the player whose spirit wasn’t strong enough to play for the Seahawks.  Well it turns out Golden Tate stepped on the gum and was wrongfully accused.  3 weeks later, he got traded.  Good for you, Golden Tate, get as far away from the Curse as possible!!

In the game a few weeks ago between the Packers n Seahawks, Pete Carroll brought a piece of the Cursed Endzone to Green Bay, because the fortuneteller told him that if they could beat the Packers at Lambeau and the Cursed Endzone witnessed their victory, the curse would spread to other stadiums and aid the Seahawks in there rise to power!!!  Wow!  But they lost the game, so we will never no.

About 3 weeks ago, Marshawn Lynch was leaving the stadium and a he still had some of the Cursed Turf stuck to his shoe.  The next day, the Cursed Turf got revenge on him through a hamstring injury.  B careful, Marshawn Lynch!!!  Clearly the Cursed Turf knows no loyalties!

And NOW just this last week, Calvin Johnson was running into the Cursed Endzone n he was about to score the best touchdown ever and the Cursed Turf reached out and stole the ball from him!  Then the Cursed Turf used its ghost powers to possess the referees and made them give the ball to the Seahawks!  Spooky!!!

Who will the Cursed Turf strike next???  The Seahawks are playing an away game this weekend… but then the following week is a home game against the Panthers!!  Look out, Cam Newton n friends!  Don’t become the next victims of THE CURSED ENDZONE!!!!!!

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