NFL Job Opportunity!

If u r looking for a career in football, there is a new job opportunity as the head coach of the Miami Dolphins!  The Dolphins announced today that they r firing there coach Joe Philbin.  “He was a pretty nice guy,” said a Dolphin representative.  “He was stoked about going to London, so we figured we should at least wait until after that game.”

A link and info on how to apply will prolly b posted on the NFL website pretty soon.

John Madden is reportedly really upset that the Dolphins did this so soon after the release of his video game Madden 2016.  John Madden was spotted early today at 3 different grocery stores buying over 75 bags of coffee.  He will have to pull some all nighters to code the patch for Madden 16.  Rumor has it the patch will remove Joe Philbin and replace it with a unicorn until a new coach is named.  Its going to be totally boss.  Dan Campbell, the interim couch, is understandably disappointed that he doesn’t get to be a video game character yet, but he understands how it will make gamers happy to see a beautiful majestic unicorn on the sidelines.  Don’t worry, Dan Campbell!  It will be worth the wait!

Do you think you could cut it as a NFL head coach?  Start sprucing up ur football resume!  Everyone loves Dan Cambpell, but we also love some healthy competition!  If u go out right now and buy Madden 16 and dont go to work for the next 2 weeks, u could play thru about 80 seasons as a coach!  Think of how many super bowels u could win!  Just imagine putting 70-time Super Bowl Winningest Couch as the first bullet point on ur resume!  You should also have some experience with Outlook, Oracle, and Peoplesoft, and be able to carry on intermediate conversations using American Sign Language.

GL with ur job searches, everyone!  GL also to Joe Philbin, we know u will land on ur feet!  See u on the football field again soon!

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