Madden 16 Hacks

So you read this post and u went out and bought the new madden game!  You spent prolly 6 or 7 hours just playing the openings Cardinals Steelers game and now u have to make the biggest decision of ur life: what team r u going to pick?

This is a huge decision.  As u will remember from previous versions of Madden 16, every team has different special powers n abilities.  Here is a list of all the available teams and the special moves u can do when u play:

New York Jets: when ur defense is on the field, its 3rd down, n the crowd volume is at 80% u can press up+down+up+back+forward+forward+up to summon a sick flyover above the stadium!  The noise from the flyover jets will boost the crowd noise to 100% and the football Jets will get a 3rd down stop!  Whoa!

New York Giants: if u decide to go for it on 4th down, u can sacrifice 3 players on the feild and double the size of ur offensive line.

New England Patriots: after halftime if ur team is losing u can press down+down+down+down+back and go to special settings screen where u can adjust the football air pressure.  that will make passes 12% easier to catch!

Detroit Lions: once per game, u can select Calvin Johnson and press up+up+down+forward+back and he will turn into Megatron from Transfromers!  (The cool one from the 80s that turns into a gun, not the stupid one from the Shy Labouef movies.)  Calvin Johnson’s stats r maxed out, but Megatron can fly, so this move basically guarantees u a TD.

Denver Broncos: Once per quarter when the defense is on the field, u can press down+down+down+up+up and Peyton Manning on the sidelines will place a phone call to Papa Johns and Papa John will deliver some pizzas.  Each slice of pizza allows u to recover 5% health, 4% stamina, 10% team spirit, and 3% personal hygiene.  Thanks, Papa John!

Green Bay Packers: Your playing as the Packers, u really think youre going to get a cheat code, too??  JK of course u are!  If u press up+up+back when the game starts, Aaron Rodgers grows 2 more arms and can throw up to 7 footballs per down!

Seattle Seahawks: Whenever crowd noise is above 55% the seahawks can use the 12th man power to summon an extra player onto the field without penalty.

Jacksonville Jaguars: You have the honor of playing as THE Blake Bortles!  And the coach’s magic 8 ball just calls all the plays for you, so that’s one less decision u have to make every play!  Whew.  We have to make so many choices every day, thanks, Madden, for making our life a little easier!

Washington Footballs: If u select the most patriotic of teams, once per game when ur playing defence, u can summon a BALD EAGLE to intercept the football and get a pick 6!  YAY AMERICA!!!

San Diego Chargers: Once per half, u can press back+forward+back+forward and summon a bolt of lighting to strike one player on the opposing team’s bench.  Make it count!!

Carolina Panthers: if the opposing team is named after a smaller cat or a bird of some sort, u just auto-win.  Cool!

Tampa Bay Buccaneers: If team spirit is above 40% and crowd noise is at 50%, u can summon Polly the Play-Calling Parrot who will tell u the correct formation to get past ur opponents defense!  B careful tho, if the crowd noise gets above 55%, u won’t b able to hear Polly’s great ideas!

Minnesota Vikings: if ur down by over 18 points at the half, u can summon a blizzard!  This is especially helpful if ur playing a team from the south, those players only have a 4% cold resistance while the Minnesota players have 40% cold resistance!  Thank u, mother nature!

Philadelphia Eagles: any player on ur team can be switched out with a founding father!  So cool.  You earn extra XP if u score a touchdown as Benjamin Franklin our nations 2nd president.  Pro tip, Alexander Hamilton has the best throwing arm but if u select George Washington, team spirit increases by 8%,  BUT this doesn’t work if ur opponent is the Washington Footballs, they can just summon their eagle, it will devour the founding fathers whole.

There will be other teams to choose later, John Madden is still working on the code.  He is working around the clock to bring us our favorite teams, just hang in there!  The patch will b available soon!

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