Everything U Need 2 Know About JPP

If you get the internet or the newspaper u have prolly heard some stuff about Jason Pierre-Paul and u are probably super worried.  Here is some info to help you get ur piece of mind back!

If you haven’t heard about him yet here is some info to make conversation at the ol’ water cooler!

What we know: Jason Pierre-Paul known to his friends n fans as JPP is a Giant football player!  So cool.  idk how tall he is, there isnt really a way to find that info unless u want to sneak onto the football field and measure him or w/e.  Anyways last weekend JPP was celebrating America’s bday and blew off his finger with a firecracker!  Totes badass.

How do we know that?  some real neat ppl snuck into his hospital room and measured his hand n noticed he was missing a figner

what did the other giants say?  they’re so big they prolly haven’t noticed yet

What about his football career?  um hello its called football dummy it shouldnt matter

Will he replace it?  we don’t know yet!  technology is so great now the real trick is to not replace it with something better than a finger or something that will give him an unfair advantage in football.  NFL President Roger Goodell has recommended they replace it with an air pump to inflate footballs in case of emergency but JPP is still thinking about that.

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