25 Signs You Should Be An NFL QB

Are u feeling unhappy and disatisfied with ur dead end office or retail job?  did u always think that u would have made more of urself by whatever stage of ur life your currently in?  have u ever thought of becoming a professional athelete?  keep reading to find out if u have what it takes to play quarterback in the nfl!


25. u like football a lot u watch it every sunday and on the special monday edition of sunday night football

24 sometimes u make better play calls than the NFL coaches!! those guys are total boneheads compared to u

23. You can throw a football 40 yards within like 5 feet of a target

23. you can real quick hand a football to someone

23. you can yell hut 10 times in a row

22. You would really thrive in a job where u only have to work 8 months of the year and then u get to go on real sweet vacations with models n famous hollywood ppl

21.  You have practiced giving post game interviews using a spatula as a microphone and talking to a mop with googly eyes and blouse n you call it erin andrews.

20. you have already played football at some point in ur life.  it doesnt have 2 be high school or college it could just be a cool thanksgiving game like in that one episode of friends, the One Where Monica n Ross Ruin Thanksgiving for the Friends by Being Really Serious About a Football Game and Rachel’s Hair Looks Cool n Chandler Makes Some Funny Expressions.

19. Your mom is really proud of u and thinks u can do anything you set ur mind to.

18.You have never seen an episode of dancing with the Stars b/c ur 2 busy watching the Monday edition of Sunday Night Football.

17, Some of ur friends would b available to join the team, too.

16. Sometimes while ur at work, you imagine trying out for ur fave football team and being the most successful walk on quarterback in human history

15. you look really cool in a baseball cap n jersey

14. You really like all the clothes the football players get to wear like the cool sweatpants with the team logo on them n stuff

13.   You have won so many games of Madden for the xbox u could totally do that irl (that stands for in real life)

12. Your favorite football movie ever is the replacements lets face it u are way better at football than Keanu Reeves

11. U can recognize more than 5 defensive plays when ur opponents are lining up.  seriously wtf u yelled blitz 5 times n threw ur beer at the television and Matt Stafford didn’t listen to u at all.  but if u had his job you wouldn’t have had to throw the ball away u would have scored a touchdown.

9. you have really good hearing and would be able to hear the questions Aaron Andrews asked u over the roar of the stadium as ur loyal fans cheered ur name

8.  you have some causes u care about and want 2 raise awareness for.  an example, you just really hate cancer n wish more ppl knew about it.  if u were a quarterback u could tell the world how horrible cancer really is.

7. you have a neat backstory that ppl can relate to.  Like how in high school u were kind of awkward and weren’t very popular (btw u will TOTALLY show up all those kids who ignored u in high school just wait for ur 20 year reunion those assholes will be BEGGING 4 ur autograph) and you made it to graduation! then you werent really popular in college either but thats more okay not many ppl are.  then you had a dead end job for awhile, it wasn’t horrible but it wasnt a lot of fun.  and that’s really sad b/c work should b fun!!!  good thing ur playing football now.

6. you have a high pain tolerance.  you seriously dont get those quarterbacks acting like babies just because they broke a bone in there hand or they got a concussion or w/e.  this is the real world if u cant stand the heat stay out of the football.

5. You really like to travel football players get to see the hole country playing games in all 50 states and now they even go to london some times!  you’ve always wanted to make one of those Red Guards with the fuzzy black hats laugh.

4 You want your ex girlfreind to regret ever dumping u

3. You’re high school friends gave u the perfect nickname for a football player something like “deuce” or “Football” or “Rocket Arm’ or “The Man”.  You know those arent as cool as “Boomer” but someday when ur retired from quarterbacking you will be sitting behind that desk being a sports analist and everyone will be tweeting at The Football Rocket Man” and waiting to hear ur picks.

2.  You deleted your facebook account multiple times so no one could dig up any dirt on u



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