in case u were living in a cave or ur internet was busted here are the top 10 biggest things what u missed in the WONDERFUL WORLD OF SPORTS this week!
10. the Cleveland Cavaliers traded three first round picks for a babe Ruth baseball card, a real neat vintage hat, and a statue of a dalmatian 4 the locker room. cavaleirs fans are bummed about this trade because they wont really get to enjoy that stuff as much as they would have enjoyed having another cool bball player 😦 theres a rumor that lebron will wear the hat on the sidelines but rite now the dalmation is wearing it. what a bonehead trade GL cavs we will all have our fingers crossed 4 u next year
9. in St. Louis people have come 2gether to raise money for a 50-mile high wall to b built around the metro area. hopefully the wall will stop the rams from getting out.
8. the Toronto Maple Syrup is holding a coloring contest & the winner becomes the new coach!! what a cool idea 2 bring the community together canada sounds like a neat place.
7 the NFL is discussing getting rid of helmets n pads next year and letting the players run around the feild in giant hamster balls or something. it would make the catching game boring but their would b 40% fewer concussions so idk maybe it would be interesting
7 ppl are crying conspiracy n trying to figure out how wisconsin got such bad weather looks like its going 2 b another bowl of ice this year. b sure to tune in for the Packers n Cowboys on this weeks SPECIAL SUNDAY EDITION OF MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL.
6. fifty-nine basketball games were played this week n 50% of those teams won. every1 watched those games and said nice things but were secretly waiting for football to happen. DOn’T WORRY, BBALL, IT’S ALMOST UR TIME!!!
4 Peyton Manning missed practice twice this week picking up some overtime shifts at papa johns. ppl in denver who ordered a pizza on wednesday night got pepperonis in the shape of a football even if they didnt order pepperonis. one pizza patron got a pizza with the word “ANUS” spelled out in pepperoni. it is reportedly a reference to McManus the broncos kicker but Petyon Manning got hungry and ate the first 3 letters.
C. the Ohio State Buckeyes and the Oregon Cheerios practiced a lot for the big Allstate Remember That Guy Who Played the President on 24 That Was a Long Time Ago When All the Other Characters Were Alive College Ultimate Championship Bowl. no 1 is really talking about college football anymore 😦 their hoping to trend on twitter for a while on monday before college football ends
B. in the world of science a researcher named John Hopkins announced a vaccine that will prevent QBs from being sacked and throwing picks!! Bears fans were super excited at 1st
A. Tom Brady entered the maple syrup coloring contest!!! Pats fans r hoping he didnt stay in the lines
1. big news 4 the US Boston might host the 2058 Olympics! so cool that will give them time to build some cool new restaurants and stock up on lobsters n stuff. Green Bay WIsconsin was in the running until every1 found out about the Bowl of Ice guess they couldn’t keep that a secret. Better luck in 2146, Green Bay!!!!! GL boston