Merry Christmas to every1 n happy holidays! so now that all the presents are opened ur prolly wondering “when is the next football game? what about collage football is that over yet?” the answer is college football never ends it lives on in our hearts IF WE JUST BELEIVE!!!!!!! so plz keep beleving & the college football season will NEVER END!!! things r different this year in the world of college football tho. hear is what u need 2 know 2 about the new collage playoffs.
1. there is a grand total of 407 BOWL GAMES 4 teams to play in this year!! I no it sounds like a lot and IT IS A LOT some colleges had to make a 2nd and 3rd football team to accomodate this crazy schedule what were they thinking. some teams r actually hockey teams in disguise n some are actually women so KEEP A LOOK OUT! see if u can spot the phonies!!
2. the ultimate winner gets a lifetime supply of tomato sauce n band aids b/c the championship game is the new TOMATO & BANDAGE BOWL so practical
3 here is a breakdown of who ppl are rooting 4 this year: 15% of americans want Ohio State to win, 11% want Alabama to win, 20% want CHik-fil-a to win, and 13% want the Green Bay Packers 2 win. LeBron James is rooting for ohio state b/c he’s from ohio. William n Kate are rooting 4 chik-fil-a but thats just because they felt pressured to take a side and chik-fil-a is the underdog. every1 loves a good underdog story. There is some MAJOR CONFLICT in the white house this christmas b/c Obama is rooting for the bears b/c he loves chicago and Biden is rooting 4 Alabama b/c he got confused about football and just picked whoever was #1. football can be rly confusing to old guys, don’t worry, joe!!! no 1 is rooting 4 oregon, even the students at oregon r rooting for chik-fil-a.
4 theres a rumor
5. any1 who loses a playoff bowl game will be encouraged to play better next year n practice a ton in the offseason IT”S OKAY THE ONLY LOSERS R THE ONES WHO DON’T PLAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
6. no one cares about any of the small bowel games just the rly important ones: the Rose Bowl, the Chik-Fil-A Lots of Chicken n Waffle Cut Fries Bowl, and the Allstate PResident From “24” Remember That Show Bowl.
7 B CAREFUL not to root 4 a team that isnt playing in a popular bowl game. if ppl ask u who ur rooting 4, u cant say something like rutgers or oklahome state b/c ppl will think u have bad taste in football. LIFE HACK: try not to lose face!
8. the new college football playoffs WILL NOT AFFECT UR LIFE IN ANY MEANINGFUL WAY SO DON’T WORRY!!!!!!!
9. If u find out that u rly don’t like the playoffs or w/e, just stop believing in it and it will go away. this doesnt work with the nfl tho. Those playoffs will b around 4ever.
10. 80% of ppl in attendance of bowel games will b wearing those dum ugly sweaters. its like no one actually understands ugly sweaters, so sad. but if u see someone wearing one of those, u just have to smile politely n say that u like there sweater.
hopefully this will help u get thru the rest of the college bowl games!! have a very happy holiday, piece to everyone!