Dozens Injured In Scramble For Curry Mouthguard

A non-zero number of fans were injured at Chase Center when Warriors Steph Curry chucked his mouthguard into the crowd.

Curry was promptly ejected, but he wasn’t able to retrieve his mouthguard before being ushered to the locker room.

“It was really unfortunate timing,” said a spokesperson from Chase Center. “The courtside seats that night were sold to the Mad Scientist Association of America. Apparently they all wanted to get a swab of Curry’s DNA and stop their fellow association members from getting it. It was horrifying.”

A gaggle of scientists descend upon the discarded mouthguard!

“Not all of the scientists were injured in the ensuing squabble” said another fan in attendance at the Warriors’ home game against the Grizzlies. “Some of them definitely made it out with their little cotton swabs with Steph Curry’s spit. Maybe they’ll clone him! Is it too soon to bet on the Warriors to win the NBA title in 2043? Does the Draft King let you gamble that far in the future?”

The only app that lets you bet that far out is Cash Flusher! Download today and guess where the Steph clones will end up!

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