The Indianapolis Colts are in the market for a new head coach, and after recent breaking news about Owner Jim Irsay, Colts fans are hoping that Mr. Irsay stays far, far away from the coach candidates.

Reports have surfaced that in 2018 when then-Patriots coach Josh McDaniels was announced as the next Colts coach, Jim Irsay went to visit the McDaniels family and spent so much time in their bathroom, Mrs. McDaniels made her husband turn down the job offer. Whoa!!! What were you doing in there, Mr. Irsay?

Close friends of the Irsays jumped to Jim’s defense. “Our buddy Jim is getting up there in years, sometimes the parts just don’t work as well.” When informed that Jim Irsay is only 63 years old, his pals responded with, “Huh. Are you sure?”

“What was he doing in their bathroom,” wondered other Colts fans. “Did he poop so much that he cost us a good head coach? We could have been super bowl contenders, but he was too busy taking a super bowel movement!!! You’ll put that in the story, right? Really emphasize the ‘super bowel’ part.”

Good luck to the Colts in their coach search, and, uh, good luck to Jim Irsay with his health or whatever!