The Challenges of Early Fantasy Football

So you’ve missed the fantasy playoffs for the fifteenth year in a row. Fantasy football suuuuuuucks! But our four fathers had it waaaay worse.

At least you know that your starting running back fumbled the ball for negative yards and tore his ACL on the first play of the game.

Back in the day before internet, the Founding Fathers had to wait months for their sports news!

The day after announcing he wouldn’t seek a third term so he could pay more attention to his dynasty league fantasy team, President George Washington found out that both his starting receivers died from scurvy and he lost both his 1798 and 1799 first round picks in a side bet with his pal Chief Justice John Jay.

Back then it was still just called Old England. And Tom Brady was only two years old, so he wasn’t the QB yet.

Injuries were also way more common. Helmets hadn’t been invented yet, and folks still thought concussions were the mystical shenanigans of the Evil One giving someone too much purple bile. Neat fact: more 18th century football players died from the treatments to their injuries than the actual injuries.

So next time you’re cussing out your fantasy football app because you have to wait until 90 minutes before the game to find out if your “questionable” player is playing, just remember it could be worse.

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