After hearing the news that Raiders linebacker Blake Martinez abruptly retired last week after selling a rare Pokémon card, hundreds of other professional football players have waited in line at thrift shops in the hopes of snagging their own tickets for retirement!
Some players left practice early and drove to their parents’ houses to go through boxes of childhood toys in the attic. Others missed the boat!
“I can’t believe I let my mom sell my Pokémon cards at a yard sale last year,” said one dejected player who wishes to remain anonymous. “I love the game, but man, it would be nice to not get concussions all the time and just be able to watch the games from my couch and stuff.”
Be sure to doublecheck your fantasy rosters, folks! Your starting QB may have struck gold at the antique market on Sunday morning!