Cleveland MLB Team Preparing for Empty Opener

With all the commotion about the Washington Footballs transitioning to Washington Commanders, the Cleveland Baseballs managed to fly under the radar with their name change!

The home opener for the Cleveland Guardians begins in a few hours, and so far, Progressive Field is a ghost town.

“I didn’t know the game was this afternoon,” laments one of the six baseball fans living in Cleveland. “I kept looking for the Cleveland Baseballs in the paper, I thought the Guardians were some kind of new minor league hockey team or something. And I already made plans to watch the NBA Playoffs with my buddies.”

“Wait, who are the Guardians?” asked another fan, wearing a Cleveland Baseballs jersey and flipping through the latest TV Guide. “Like the Marvel guys? I can’t watch a movie right now, I’m looking for the baseball game.”

“Marketing was nice enough to get us a delicious cake to share with folks for the Guardians first home game,” says Cleveland Guardians Coach Terry “Tito” Francona. “We may have a lot of leftovers!”

So far, Coach Tito is the only one who took a slice of the celebratory cake.

Come on, Cleveland, let’s fill those seats! We recommend putting a sign that says “FREE CAKE” in front of Progressive Field. That will draw in people for sure!

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