NFL Coaches and Fantasy Football Dynasty Owners look forward to the NFL Combine so they can gather useful data on the future NFL rookies and make the right draft choice for their team.
Well, this week has brought us a real wet fart of a NFL Combine.
In a hugely embarrassing and unimaginable mistake, the folks putting on the NFL Combine didn’t order any of the typical equipment or even pick out venues. Instead, the future rookie NFL-ers stepped off the bus and found themselves on farms, staring in confusion at what they were later told is called a “combine harvester”.
“I’m never going to get drafted,” lamented one future NFL rookie who preferred to remain anonymous. “I thought I just had to run and catch some footballs. I didn’t know I was going to have to drive the pope mobile.”
“I can’t drive stick,” complained another. “So because my parents don’t have cars that were made a hundred years ago, I don’t get to play in the NFL?”
Coaches, Fantasy Owners, and Fans have gotten literally no useful information from the NFL Combine so far. Day one saw the players taking selfies with the combine while the folks in charge scrambled to try to rent a facility and order a bunch of footballs. Unfortunately because of prior commitments and supply chain issues, they couldn’t change the plans. So Roger Goodell and Friends decided to pretend that this fiasco was all according to plan.
The college football players trying to drive the combine don’t know what to expect from this week, but the coaches sure are upset. Hopefully by Monday, we’ll actually get to see the players’ football skills, or else both the regular season and fantasy season will be unwatchable.