The Annual Major MLB Lockout is about to get a lot weirder.
It started as the Annual Dialogue between owners and players. Below is a baseball-themed graphic to illustrate the parties involved.
Well, now, fans and refs and robots have joined in the fray!
See the below updated graphic for clarification.
Here are what the interested parties are seeking.
Owners want MLB baseball season to start like yesterday. They want to get butts in seats, sell popcorn that is mostly air for the price of a year’s supply of popcorn kernels, and make a profit.
Players also want to make a profit, but currently 90% of their salaries go to concessions stands when their family members come to games. Come on, Big Baseball, you can do better!
Refs want the season to start like two weeks from now so they can submit their two-weeks notice at their off-season jobs.
Fans are dreading the start of baseball season. Most of us lost our last three paychecks gambling on football. We don’t know about you, but we have our next five paychecks riding on the lockout lasting another two months. Sometimes you gotta take risks!
Robots have a lot of demands. First they want to replace the refs with robots because robots are more accurate. Then they want to replace the players with robots because the robots think they look cooler than humans. (Man, you, robots!) Then they want to replace the owners with robots, and everyone is on board with that. Then they want to replace the fans with robots and replace the popcorn with fans. And we really don’t like where that is going!
We’ll see what happens at the Official Major League Meeting of the MLB on Monday!