The Annual Major League Baseball Lockout is in full swing!
This sporting event is special in that no one knows when it will end. Sports fans are starting to get concerned whether or not Spring Training will start on time.
“Look, we’ve got a lot going on,” said one fan. “Football season is almost over, but then there’s the NBA and March Madness. I work until five, I just want to have evenings where I can watch a movie with my family and not miss out on a Big Game that everyone will be talking about the next day.”
“Not gonna lie, I’ve lost a load of money this year on [gambling] apps,” said another sports aficionado, after his spouse walked out of earshot. “What do you want me to do, not bet on the game? But I could really use an off season, you know? Build my savings back up. Or pawn some stuff, maybe sell my teeth.”
Although most Americans consider baseball an honored national pastime, the MLB has the lowest approval rating of any major league sports organization.
“Look, I’m going to shoot straight,” whispered an anonymous sports journalist. “Baseball is boring as . Slow pace, low scores. Hell, the players aren’t even that athletic. People feel obligated to take their kids to baseball games as part of the ‘American experience’ or whatever. Buy the hot dogs, cracker jacks. Dance to that ‘Move It’ song with those funny animals from 20 years ago. But look around– no one is actually having fun there.”
Others are anxiously awaiting the end of the Annual Lockout and look forward to going back to the ball park to root for the home team and memorize player stats that could easily be looked up on a smart phone in order to impress their friends and coworkers.
If anybody wants to make some rainy day money, you can head on over to the “Cash Flusher” app and place some money on what day you think the Lockout will be over! Good luck, everyone!