The end of October is also the end of baseball season. It’s not too late to pretend you give a $#!* and impress all your baseball fanatic friends and coworkers.

The World Series–the Super Bowl of baseball–started on Tuesday. While the Super Bowl is a single kick-ass game in an epic one-night blaze of glory that lends itself to parties and festive food, the World Series is a long drawn-out slog of a production that can take as many as seven games to determine a winner. What, are we supposed to make seven seven layer dips? Most people just don’t have that kind of time on their hands!

The Super Bowl draws in viewers with funny (or edgy) commercials and a half-time show featuring popular bands or singers. Whoever designed baseball didn’t understand the pull of a half-time show and created the game with a nine periods. You can’t have a half-time with an odd number of periods. It’s basic math, son, get schooled.

The World Series is beautifully designed by the Scheduling Gods to coincide with the start of basketball season. Perfect timing, Einstein. It’s hard enough to compete with football, now you’re going to make people choose over basketball? Not exactly a coin toss there, Chief.

If you’re going to watch any of the numerous games of the World Series, you should do it tonight. (Pro tip: always watch the Friday game so you don’t have to show up to work hungover.) One game is enough time to learn the names of the players so when your smarmy coworker asks you what you think of the Series so far, you can say something intelligent like, “Hey, yeah, National Houston defense is astronomical, couldn’t believe that dude slid home, they’re going to have to wash a ton of those uniforms.”

The Washington Nationals won the first two games, but there are still so many games to go… the Houston Astros have plenty of time for a comeback! Don’t miss the action!