If you tuned in to the Packers v. Cowboys game last weekend, you probably saw Green Bay Running Back Aaron Jones wave goodbye to Dallas Cornerback (and fellow Jones) Byron Jones as he ran into the end zone. Yesterday the NFL revealed that Aaron Jones will also be waiving goodbye to a hefty chunk of cash.
Below is a complete list of offenses and the amounts that players can be fined.
Taunting. This one is tough to catch. Sometimes it’s obvious because there is a straight up fight. Other times, there’s just a misunderstanding. One time Russell Wilson said, “Good game,” to Eli Manning, and the refs thought Wilson was being sarcastic. Fines ranging from $5 to $80K go straight to the Roger Goodell.
Using unapproved headphones. Bose is the official headphone sponsor of the NFL. If players are seen sporting non-regulation headphones, that’s a $100K fine. Proceeds go to the Roger Goodell Retirement Fund. AirPods get flushed down the toilet.
Wearing unapproved clothes. NFL players need to be on-brand all the time, in case they’re photographed. This is a huge challenge for players who get traded because they still have all the merch from their former team. A few months ago, New York Giants wide receiver Golden Tate was seen taking out the trash while wearing a Detroit Lions t-shirt. Turns out, it was laundry day, and he was just popping outside for 30 seconds. Yeah, that’s a $1mil mistake. But don’t worry, Golden Tate! That money goes to support Roger Goodell.
Saying, Tweeting, or thinking uncharitable things about Roger Goodell. Can’t talk smack on the boss. That fine, a flat 20% of the player’s salary, goes to Roger Goodell.
Rude gestures toward the officiating crew. Major no-no. The fine is whatever remaining amount the player can charge on his credit card before leaving the stadium. Proceeds go to the Roger Goodell limo fund.
Storing rabid animals, illegal drugs, or dead human bodies in the locker room. This should be obvious. Fines can go as high as $5mil and go directly to Roger Goodell.
Punching a mascot. We know, some of their faces just look so punch-able! But no matter what the mascots do, they are a protected class and attacking them could get you fined up to $40K. Make your check out to Roger Goodell 2019 Charity Fund for Roger Goodell.
Lighting the field on fire. Yeah, we see you Tennessee Titans. That turf is the property of the NFL, tampering with it is a federal offense. JK, but it is the property of Roger Goodell, and damaging it results in a $20K fine payable to Roger Goodell. And $10K to the turf company to replace the turf.
Lighting Terry Bradshaw on fire. The man has been around forever, he’s a football icon–basically assume he’s in the same protected class as a mascot. No matter how much smack he talks about your team, you can’t assault him. Fine is equal to 20% of Terry Bradshaw’s salary and goes to the Roger Goodell Rainy Day Fund.