Sports fans were scandalized today when the news broke that 93% of athletes don’t actually mean it when they say “good game” to their opponents after the game.

According to new research, 50% of the players have just lost their game and would just like to be alone with their feelings while they process their loss. Another 20% didn’t really have fun; some were on the bench the whole time, and others thought the game was just too easy for them and they had been hoping for a challenge. Ten percent think their opponents acted like jerks throughout the whole game and don’t want to shake their hands. The remaining players described the intense pressure to say the right thing to their opponents as the press broadcasts their post-game reactions.

“This is awful, I’m shocked news like this got out,” said a distraught sports fan. “Way to destroy our hope that sports really are just fun, friendly competition. Whoever broke this story should be ashamed.”

“I hope children don’t read this article,” agreed the parent of an up-and-coming kindergarten athlete. “They have to grow up so fast, just let them enjoy sports until they get to fifth grade and have to focus on their stats for college scholarships.”

Some e-sports athletes say “GG” instead of “good game”–but that doesn’t change the lack of sincerity behind the message.

“I don’t believe it,” said a little kid wearing the jersey of his presumably favorite player. “Athletes don’t poop. My mom said so.”