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Adults “Shocked” to Tune into College Football Playoffs Brought to You by Fortnite

“Whoa, uh, now I feel like a dinosaur,” quipped a late-thirty-something upon seeing the sponsor for the first College Football Playoff Game of 2024.

“Whoa, Fortnite???!!” shouted a soon-to-be-disappointed ten-year-old. “I hope the players build like cool stairs and stuff to climb over the defense and score!”

Good thinking, kid, that’s exactly how real life works.

For grown-ups who want to feel even more old and decrepit, check out the other sponsors for the first round of 2024 NFL Jr. College Football Playoffs!

SMU vs. Penn State
Brought to you by
Hatchimals

“60% chance your kid will be disappointed in what comes out!”

Clemson vs. Texas
Brought to you by
Lego

“Lego your money when you download the Cash Flusher App and place meaningless bets on a game you don’t care about!”

Tennessee vs. Ohio State
Brought to you by
Build-A-Bear

“Fill the emptiness inside you with a stuffed animal! It has a heart, so you’ll feel like a real piece of crap if you ever donate it to Goodwill. You monster.”

Don’t miss tonight’s matchup between the Notre Dame Fighting Irish and the Indiana Indianas brought to you by the hot new game Fortnite!

Good luck to both teams, and don’t forget to have fun!

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