TNF Viewers No Longer Interested in Football Game After Red Panda Performance

The Thursday Night Football matchup between the Atlanta Falcons and Tampa Bay Buccaneers was overshadowed by the stunning performance by acrobat Krystal Niu, aka Red Panda.

“My buddies and I paid like $800 to go to this game and cheer on the team,” said a Falcons fan. “But after seeing that in-freaking-credible performance, we just wanted to keep watching Red Panda. She’s incredible!”

Both the Falcons and Bucs players were stunned to be met by a chorus of boo’s from the crowd when they took the field after the Red Panda performance.

“GET OFF THE FIELD,” yelled an incensed attendee. “BRING BACK RED PANDA!”

Even Falcons Legend and Ring of Honor inductee Matt Ryan didn’t want to be a part of the Halftime festivities. “Matt asked if we could skip his ceremony so we could bring Red Panda back out for halftime,” said a Mercedes-Benz Stadium employee.

“How do we sign up for Red Panda classes?”

“My son and I went to the game,” said an Atlanta mom, “and as soon as we got home, he ran over to his backpack to make some changes to his homework assignment for school tomorrow. Is there a little panda league or a pee wee panda club? How do I help him get set up for career success?”

Good luck out there, aspiring Red Pandas and Red Panda parents! And kudos to the current reigning Red Panda on another stunning performance!

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