Just when we thought NFL Preseason couldn’t get any more exciting!

The National Football League announced today that they will be using new technology in the Preseason Games to bring us more accurate calls! Cool!

“I really hate all those ing fans,” said an NFL insider who would like to remain anonymous. “Complaining all the time about the refs, booing, saying they could do a better job. It’s absolute ! Well, now AI is going to be calling the shots! How do you like them apples?”

Roger Goodell and his friends with Big Football will be installing LASERS in all the football stadiums to TRACK THE FOOTBALL and SEE WHERE THE FOOTBALL GOES ON THE FIELD and NOTHING ELSE. Neato!

“It’s going to be great,” Commissioner Goodell reportedly told some chums. “We’ll have sick lasers pointed everywhere and the lasers will let us know if the football has a first down.”

“That makes perfect sense,” said someone who exists.

“The lasers are everywhere, pointed at the seats and stuff, but it’s only to track the football,” Roger Goodell continued. “You know, sometimes the ball bounces out of bounds or something. We want to know where it goes. And we can use the lasers to make the football explode! Just the football, though, we would never point our cool lasers at an angry fan holding a sign that says ‘MORE LIKE ROGER BAD-ELL’. That fan is totally safe and not in any danger from the cool AI lasers.”

We can’t wait to see the NFL taking a huge step into the FUTURE during the preseason!