The NFL has announced the players who have been voluntold to play in this season’s NFL Pro Bowl, and football fans are trying to look interested.

“It is an honor to be invited to the prestigious 2024 Pro Bowl,” said every player on the invite list.

“We can’t wait to see all the zany antics of Pro Bowl Coaches Peyton and Eli Manning,” wrote a sports journalist. ”It will be a hoot and a half. You won’t want to miss it. Unless you have some grocery shopping or household chores to do. You don’t want those hanging over your head when you’re watching the Super Bowl.”

Other writers tried to pump fans up by talking about the players who weren’t invited. ”LOOK AT THESE PRO BOWL SNUBS!!!!!!! Why isn’t [Buffalo Bills QB] Josh Allen on the list!! I’ve lost my faith in Big Football!”

“I don’t know how to make this easier to understand,” said NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell. ”There are two teams worth of players. We can’t have more players. I mean, unless the fans want to have longer Pro Bowl games and more festivities? We could workshop that, get some more sponsors and sell some ads. This could work.”

“Oh, uh, that’s okay, Mr. Goodell,” said the sports writer. ”It sounds too complicated to figure all that out. I’m sure my fave players will be invited next year.”